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This girl ran up to me at the cemetery and said "I need to pass through the cemetery but I'm scared to walk alone. Can you walk with me across?"

I said "Oh yeah of course. Don't worry, I used to be super scared of cemeteries when I was alive too."
 
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...

So I called her Bluff.
 
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours?

A: Because it said 'concentrate'
 
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?

A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
 
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."
 
Flat earthers are very worried about the pandemic.

They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
 
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